- Emma Tolkin
Sonnets About Sexting
Welcome to the first installment of Poetry for Millennials, in which the trials and tribulations of the Wi-Fi generation are written in the style of our favorite poets, playwrights, and childhood authors.
Let us begin with William Shakespeare, because, I mean, he invented the human. I present to you, O readers of Fartbook.org:
Sonnets About Sexting

Anti-Ode To Mine Imagery Unclothéd
Oh god agh shit ass balls my lord aww fuck I fear that I have made a grave mistake. One never should attempt to test their luck When high ground with one’s exes is at stake. O how could I have thought it keen or wise To pull up every contact in my phone? And scrolling through the roster of hot guys Think texting them would make me less alone? If only the reception had been weak, The mirror pics of my hind-quarters safe Up in the Cloud, for some hacker to seek Not sent direct to motherfucking Rafe. First, god I curse. Next up: AT&T. What carrier? You never carried me!